i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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