Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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