I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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