she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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