Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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