Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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