There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
