I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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