Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
