yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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