i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize