Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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