another moral hangover. fuck.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm just crazy horny about you
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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