you guys were way drunker than both of me
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it's like iHOP with fire
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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