If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
