It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
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After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
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my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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