friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
