Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize