She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
