Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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