they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
and you fell through a lawn chair
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
