No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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