we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
