Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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