sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
