i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
