I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
