She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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