I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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