He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
