Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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