DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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