He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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