Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
