so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
