yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
