it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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