We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
