oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
