And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
