and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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