She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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