I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
