I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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