my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
