Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
