JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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