Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
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