We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize