you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
