her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
