Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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