I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I won the penis lottery.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
