It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
