My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize