I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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