If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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