New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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