Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
