So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
